Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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