Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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