I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
