my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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