I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
