Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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