I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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