I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
