Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
