Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize