He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize