Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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