If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
