My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
