Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I only lived at night.

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  (734): I wish I only lived at night. http://tfl.nu/lkra
  Replies (16) Good night (4124) Bad night (620)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.

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  (225): i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/sgts
  Replies (16) Good night (1785) Bad night (608)
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  (818): View more from California

  Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?

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  (818): Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me? http://tfl.nu/awe5
  Replies (45) Good night (2265) Bad night (914)
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  (858): View more from California

  Do you think there is vodka in heaven?

  (619): View more from California

  you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity

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  (858): Do you think there is vodka in heaven? (619): you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity http://tfl.nu/y8gk
  Replies (81) Good night (4155) Bad night (903)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  didn't stop?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  naw, they were rude, not me.

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  (773): My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family. (1-773): didn't stop? (773): naw, they were rude, not me. http://tfl.nu/wggq
  Replies (32) Good night (11723) Bad night (816)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.

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  (810): I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck. http://tfl.nu/kfpi
  Replies (5) Good night (2707) Bad night (1114)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.

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  (231): I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends. http://tfl.nu/26nn
  Replies (15) Good night (1852) Bad night (3962)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother

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  (816): All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother http://tfl.nu/4v9d
  Replies (11) Good night (2058) Bad night (2844)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.

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  (940): An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese. http://tfl.nu/bzrb
  Replies (7) Good night (3333) Bad night (869)
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  (+84): View more from

  he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.

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  (+84): he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man. http://tfl.nu/6dx4
  Replies (3) Good night (1760) Bad night (560)
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  (818): View more from California

  Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.

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  (818): Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college. http://tfl.nu/wt8u
  Replies (8) Good night (1302) Bad night (520)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business

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  (412): I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business http://tfl.nu/ujri
  Replies (8) Good night (1003) Bad night (692)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

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  (419): So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk? http://tfl.nu/8zbp
  Replies (8) Good night (546) Bad night (1010)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  And then audibly agreed

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  (636): I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate. (636): And then audibly agreed http://tfl.nu/3qg2
  Replies (6) Good night (960) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"

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  (404): No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party" http://tfl.nu/5res
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (292)

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