Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  somebody snuck up and got me drunk

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  (215): somebody snuck up and got me drunk http://tfl.nu/xe32
  Replies (4) Good night (1585) Bad night (472)
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  (607): View more from New York

  can we get nightvision for the apartment?

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  (607): can we get nightvision for the apartment? http://tfl.nu/dotm
  Replies (7) Good night (3090) Bad night (544)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.

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  (913): season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown. http://tfl.nu/f9w7
  Replies (33) Good night (4672) Bad night (921)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!

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  (440): We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis! http://tfl.nu/tuy6
  Replies (119) Good night (1725) Bad night (9698)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA

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  (954): STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA http://tfl.nu/oiv6
  Replies (21) Good night (1400) Bad night (3762)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs

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  (915): You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs http://tfl.nu/qhlh
  Replies (10) Good night (2464) Bad night (1515)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret

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  (613): Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret http://tfl.nu/ksru
  Replies (53) Good night (1477) Bad night (2373)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.

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  (262): i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching. (715): okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference. http://tfl.nu/rrjb
  Replies (11) Good night (4190) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"

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  (+41): She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool" http://tfl.nu/0b6e
  Replies (10) Good night (1493) Bad night (591)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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  (914): Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless http://tfl.nu/meln
  Replies (5) Good night (1045) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.

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  (412): You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ. http://tfl.nu/sfn0
  Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.

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  (303): My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief. http://tfl.nu/edfe
  Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall

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  (+44): want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want (1+44): brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall http://tfl.nu/0u3p
  Replies (6) Good night (1978) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no

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  (561): They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no http://tfl.nu/615z
  Replies (3) Good night (375) Bad night (168)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!

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  (219): I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings! http://tfl.nu/cwhp
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (181)

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