so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...