She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list