glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
