If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
