Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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