There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
