Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what day is it and did you see me today?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
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The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
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Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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