I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
