haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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