so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
