Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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