im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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