hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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