she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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