yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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