just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
