First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
ttyl tear gas
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
