he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
