3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
