Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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