She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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