escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
