so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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