He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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