im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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