Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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