There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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