Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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