he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm like, not good at living.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
