North Korea, Best Korea!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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