so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have fence marks all over my body
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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