I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
