But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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