God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
