White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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