i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
