He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
