Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This is the high leading the old right now
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
