if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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