I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
