How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
