I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize