What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
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Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
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Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.