I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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