I think my fart just growled at me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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